Kids are Anti-Fragile
In the late 1980s, there was an experiment called Biosphere 2. This was a significant attempt to create a completely self-sufficient artificial living environment. They were trying to have a sealed environment that could house eight people where all the food and air were recycled from inside. While this was a great idea, the experiment was never successful. Trying to reproduce this natural environment didn’t work. They found that the trees would grow rapidly but then fall over. The designers didn’t realize that the young trees needed the wind to grow properly. The stress of the wind would pull on the roots, causing them to push further into the soil to stabilize the tree. The bending of the tree would cause the wood to harden. Without the extra stress of the wind, the trees could not be strong enough to stand up when they got too big. Simply put, the more stress a tree is under at a young stage, the stronger it will be when fully grown.
This is a perfect metaphor for our kids. This concept is known as “anti-fragility.” Some things need to get knocked over and challenged to become stronger. The ultimate anti-fragile system is the immune system. A child's immune system needs to be challenged to develop. Parents who raise their kids in a bubble of hand sanitizer and perfect hygiene are harming the development of their kids’ anti-fragile immune systems. Kids need to eat dirt, play in the grass, and be exposed to germs so their immune systems can grow into strong warriors to fight things off when they are older.
This is the same for our children’s psychological development. Their ability to handle new things, overcome frustrations, process relationships, and handle normal conflicts without getting anxious or depressed depends on the strength of their “psychological immune system.”
Children are born anti-fragile. Kids who are over-protected are more likely to become adolescents who are stuck in defend mode. They are likely to learn less, have fewer close friends, and be more anxious.
So what is the fix for this? I think it is “risky play.”
Have you ever noticed how, as your kids get older, they start to push the limits of things while they are at the playground? First, they are scared to try the swings at all, and as they get older, you can find them hanging upside down from the top of the swings! This is because they are wired to test their limits. As parents, it is scary when your kid seems like they could get hurt. What does it teach them when we tell them to “get down from there!” or “be careful!”? It teaches them they need their parents to tell them if something is risky. Our job as parents is to prepare them for the outside world. When your kids participate in “risky play” without so much adult interference, they can tell right from wrong and safety from danger on their own. As they continue to do this, they develop confidence in themselves and, most importantly, the ability to process things in the real world. They can get the skills they need to be prepared for their future just by leaving them alone!
Chiropractic helps enhance this “anti-fragile” concept. When we adjust your child, we help prepare their body for the normal stresses of daily life. This helps them adapt to all the new things they are learning and doing each day.
It was hard when Whitney and I started this concept a few years ago. It is so ingrained in us to protect our kids that we over-protect them. When we began to pull back and let them do more on their own, there were plenty of bumps, bruises, and tears. This is part of the process! Each one of those is a lesson. “Be careful” are words that we no longer use as parents. We have watched our kids go from relying so much on us for guidance to being free-thinking and happy kids using these techniques. The next time you’re at the playground, try it out. See how capable your child is, and watch them flourish!
